Have you ever made a goal with time in mind? For example, lose 10 pounds by such-and-such date. How did that work for you? If you’re like me, the time went by but the pounds remained.
We’re told that, according to Parkinson’s Law, work expands or contracts to fit the time allotted (paraphrased). In school, if we are given two weeks to write a paper, it will get done in two weeks (usually the night before it is due). If given one week, it is done in one week (again, done the night before). That deadline dictates our progress or, rather, our completion.
Time is not on your side
So, why is it that you can’t get our other goals done by a deadline we set for yourself?
As Jordan Peterson says regarding you being the boss of your own actions, “You are a bad employee and a worse boss.” When someone else cracks the whip (teachers, bosses, etc.), it takes the burden of discipline off of your back. When you have to implement self-discipline, you become a lenient boss and a lazy employee.
Your brain doesn’t understand the passage of time in front of you. You conceive of the future as being “out there” instead of realizing that every moment is a small piece of your future and what you do in those moments determines your future. Each moment is a brick laid one at a time, building the house (i.e., your current and future reality) that you live within.
Usually, your goals involve actions that involve some level of discomfort. Naturally, you procrastinate on anything uncomfortable. If there’s no one to give you a kick in the pants, you will remain in your comfort zone indefinitely.
In one of our many conversations about the future, my sister Carrie noted the well-worn yet wise adage that, time passes whether we work on our goals or not. Perhaps you view the scope of a large task and immediately recoil from it based on your estimation of time (lots of it!) needed to complete it. So you doing nothing.
Here’s an example: let’s say you want to get a Ph.D. in Theoretical Physics. That might take around eight years. If you have a day job, family, responsibilities, and such, it could take years longer! Such an extensive time commitment may give you pause… so much pause it can stall you forever.
Action is a step away
Let’s look at your goals from another perspective: that of action steps. If, for example, you have a goal of writing a novel, instead of writing the goal as:
I will write a novel by one year from now.
Try something like this:
Steps to writing my novel:
Read a book on how to write a novel
Brainstorm genre and plot ideas
Brainstorm character ideas
Write a one-page overview of the story I would like to tell
Read a successful book in my chosen genre
Outline my novel in acts and scenes
Create a Character Bible
Review my characters and story; make revisions using my outline
Expand my one-page story to five pages
Review my story and make revisions…
And so on and so forth. You get the idea.
The initial goal (I will write a novel by one year from now) in contrast to the second option now seems vague and ambiguous. You might look at that first goal and shy away from it, thinking, Where do I start? The second option gives a clear indication as to where to start. Of course, you might look at a goal written in the second format and think, That’s way too many steps! It’s OK to think that way, initially. But you only have to tackle the first step then embark upon the next one. Take enough steps and you’ll achieve the goal!
If you look at the steps and seriously think that it’s not worth it to pursue, then that’s a good indication that maybe this is not the goal for you. There’s no shame in that. In fact, it might be better to scrap the whole idea to make room in your life for a goal you truly want to achieve with all your heart, mind, and soul.
Action over anxiety
I heard Mike Rowe say that “Action is the antidote to anxiety.” I can’t substantiate whether he came up with it or not, but I like it nonetheless because it is true. You have no doubt worried about doing something only to start it and realize it wasn’t so bad. It’s the doing that does the trick.
The really cool thing about working towards your goals using actions steps vs. a general deadline is that each step is a milestone; a defined marker that you can wrap your brain around and, once completed, celebrate. The steps, being steps are a tracking mechanism. Funny thing, as you get closer to completion, the steps get faster and faster. That said, those last few steps are usually the toughest to accomplish - not because they are difficult in and of themselves, but because you will most likely have a hang-up about them. You get far into the process then think:
“Will my life be changed too much once I reach this goal?”
“If I reach this goal, there’s no excuse for me not to reach other goals!”
“There’s no way I can do this. I’m not someone who actually achieves goals.”
“Will people think I’m snooty if I achieve this goal?”
In those final steps, you may talk yourself out of the endeavor altogether. It’s the ol’ three feet from gold scenario, fooling you into thinking that your goal was a boondoggle all along. Don’t give in! Just finish the steps and see what happens. It’s better on the successful end of your goals. That said, the process itself is, many times, amazingly fun. It’s the journey over the destination.
How to get started
The best way to get started is to simply start. Yes, just do it. It’s better to embark on something (with an ounce of wisdom, mind you) and adjust the course along the way than to wait for the perfect time. When it comes to that better version of yourself you see in the future, start working on that better version today. That small action makes you that better person. All of a sudden, the future is now, time notwithstanding.