"Love Actually" Stinks, Actually
I find it odd that I ever liked the flick!
Hello! Odd to see you! :)
Maybe “Love Actually” is not only your FAVORITE Christmas movie, but one of your FAVORITE movies all around. Well, what can I say? Maybe I just have no taste. I dare you to read on and prove me wrong though.
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There’s a Reason Not to Love “Love Actually”
“Love Actually” gets a little worse with each watching. Before you get all huffy with me, hear me out. Some movies get better with each watch (8-Bit Christmas”), some remain constant (“Home Alone”), and some… well, let’s just say that “Love Actually” is in the ages-like-bread category.
I liked“Love Actually” when it came out in 2003. Since then, I’ve watched it at least every other year. With each viewing I’ve had the unfortunate experience of witnessing that movie slowly turn into a steaming pile of bad cinema. I’m at the point where I doubt I’ll ever watch it again. I’ll lay out a few reasons as to why, but I must warn you, if you read on, you’ll end up questioning why you ever liked that movie in the first place.
Hokey is for Hallmark
I’ll admit it, I enjoy a good hokey Hallmark Christmas movie now and then. It’s like eating a Werther’s Original - I’ll eat one if an old lady gives it to me, but I don’t go out of my way to buy them for myself. Hallmark movies are like that; if one finds its way into my line of sight, I’ll watch it, but I don’t go looking for them.
In terms of tone, “Love Actually” seems to want to be a Hallmark movie with an edge. You may not notice it since it has multiple, interconnected storylines - one tends to get distracted. Before the saccharine builds up too much, the filmmaker switches to another storyline. I’ll admit, it’s clever, but the jig is up. Just because it has boobies doesn’t make “Love Actually” any less of a cheeseball.
Examples of Crap, Actually
If “Love Actually” is your favorite Christmas movie and you’d like it to stay that way, then this may be a good time for you to excuse yourself because I’m about to point out a few (among many) of the glaring issues I have with this movie.
The nude scenes are unnecessary; adding nothing while making the movie uncomfortable to watch in mixed company. The couple could have met doing the same kind of gig but with clothes on; having to act romantic with each other while being strangers works, just not naked.
Natalie, the girl who works for the Prime Minister (Hugh Grant), is supposed to be some dumpy fat girl but instead, she’s a stunning, curvy, charming woman. The whole Monica Lewinsky vibe is a bit creepy though.
The scenes where Harry (Alan Rickman) gets seduced by that slutty secretary is infuriating. The movie is called “Love Actually,” but all of Harry’s actions run counter to love.
These are merely three examples, each storyline has its own major faults.
Is there anything to love with “Love Actually”?
If I were to extract the best scenes from “Love Actually,” which ones would make the cut, if any? I’m not a total curmudgeon (only 79% of one). Here are three redeeming scenes:
Karen (Emma Thompson) listens to an older Joni Mitchell sing “Both Sides Now” and breaks down after realizing her husband may be cheating on her. She wipes her eyes and puts on a happy face for her kids. This is heartbreaking and relatable.
Watching High Grant dance like an idiot when he thinks he’s alone is prime cringe-fest. When he’s noticed, he realizes as much. It’s one of the moments that is fun and cheesy for the sake of it.
Daniel (Liam Neeson) attempts to connect with his stepson after the loss of his wife, the kid’s biological mother. Mourning the loss of a loved one, especially during the holidays, is a touching, albeit painful addition. Connecting with a stepchild is tough but worth the effort.
If You Decide to Watch “Love Actually”…
Perhaps you’ve never seen the movie and someone told you to watch it because “It’s amazing!” Watch at your own risk. Chances are, you won’t have the same enthusiasm or leniency as those who encountered it in its early years.
That said, here is a trick to make watching that flick more palatable:
Watch it alone and yell at the TV whenever something stupid happens.
I call this the “MST3K Rescue” as it magically turns any crappy movie into a delightful experience! And, since it’s Christmas, you can make a night of it with popcorn, egg nog, cookies, and a cozy blanket.
“Love Actually” may be a festering carcass of saccharine sentimentality mixed with ill-fitting mature themes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it. This post is my gift to you! Now it’s time to wrap it up.
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Until next time, stay oddly beautiful!
Jason